Lighten Up

1. Why should you never mention the number 288 in front of anyone?
2. How is the moon like a dollar?
3. What is alive and has only 1 foot?

Back From the Beach

1. What's the friendliest way to start your day at the beach?
2. What did the baby whale say as he headed south?
3. What's the best place to go shopping on the ocean?

In case you were wondering, I've been on vacation the past week. I meant to keep updating here, but it just didn't happen. Sorry about that.

Cat Jokes

After yesterday's headache, I could use a simple laugh.

1. How does a cat go shopping?

2. Why do cats make the best pets?

3. What is a cat's favorite desert?

A Dollar Short

A day late, but enjoy the humor if you're from the US (Tax day was yesterday).  Enjoy your weekend everyone.  Monday is a holiday for me, so I'll see you on Tuesday.


America is the land of opportunity. Everyone can become a taxpayer.


A fool and his money are soon parted.
The rest of us wait until income tax time.


The latest income-tax form has been greatly simplified. It consists of only three parts:
1. How much did you make last year?
2. How much do you have left?
3. Send amount listed in part 2.

A Little Bit Immature

What does a man stand up to do, a woman sit down to do and a dog lift its leg to do?

A Long Bus Ride

A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bustrip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?

Electricity Jokes

Since I'm happy to have electricity this Friday (as opposed to last Friday), here are some jokes to get you through the weekend.

How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
How is energy conservation like a baseball team?
What is burned by cars driven late at night?

Bad Baseball Joke

In baseball, if you ran each length at exactly the same speed, which of the following would take you longest to complete: Home to first, first to second, second to third or third to home?

Some Bad Jokes of Snow

Hey, I'm snowbound today, so enjoy the jokes. Scroll down to see the answers.
1) What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?
2) Why is the slippery ice like music?
3) What do chefs call "Baked Alaska" in Alaska?
4) What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?






















1) "You hang around while I go on ahead."
2) If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!
3) "Baked Here"
4) I have no eye deer.

A Little Joke

Ok, a bad joke (give me a break, I had a dentist appt this morning):

Why did Puss in Boots change out of his boots and into his dancing shoes?

Laugh it Up!

1) Why do mathematicians like national parks?

2) Why do mathematicians think Halloween and Christmas are the same?

3) What do you call an eigen-sheep?

Mix Up

A few jokes for you today:

1. What do you get if you mix a car, a fly, and a dog?
2. What do you call a worm with no teeth?
3. What table can we eat?

Math Jokes

1. Why should you never mention the number 288 in front of anyone?
2. How is the moon like a dollar?
3. What coin doubles in value when half is deducted?
4. Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long?
5. What has 4 legs and only 1 foot?
6. What did one math book say to the other math book?

All you ever need to know about frogs

Here are some frog riddles (jokes, really) to get you started this fine Monday morning.

1. Why are frogs so happy?
2. How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
3. What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
4. What is a frogs favorite time?

Sheep Counting

1) Why are 2002 pennies worth more than twenty dollars?

2) Juanita's grandmother is only five years older than her mother. How is this possible?

3) Farmer Bob has four white sheep, three black sheep, and one brown sheep at her farm. How many sheep can say they are the same color as another sheep at the farm?



Just so you know, the third one is more of a joke than a riddle.

Math Conversions

Not part of the usual questions, but just something funny I thought you might enjoy.

Subject: Math Conversions that make sense

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel & hitting the ground = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yds at 1 nautical mile/hr = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5' in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod
8. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurt
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
26. 4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at = 1 IV League
27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision