Writing Well Thought Out Phrases

We all know that resumes are written to provide short, succinct, professional histories for people applying for jobs.  But, most people feel some need to dress up what they've done over time.  How good are you at writing up a resume? How about reading them?

Could you, if you tried, come up with the more common form of the following phrases?

1. Hemoglobin is more viscous than H2O
2. Perambulate in moccasins, and shoulder a gargantuan wooden rail.
3. Allow somnolent quadrupeds that are homo sapien's greatest comrades to remain reclining.
4. Lack of what is required is the matriarch of inspiration.
5. A maximum amount of purposeful activity and a minimum amount of disport and dalliance cause Jack to become a dim-witted, stagnant dunce of the male species.